ChikagexOno: I'm not Disposable
by kushinada1
Summary: Readers beware, this is a Chikage/Ono fic. I suck at summaries, but if you like them as a pair, you know you're going to take a look.


Altered Recipe 6 of Antique Bakery

I OWN NOTHING, MUCH LESS THE FANTASTIC PIECE OF WORK THAT IS ANTIQUE BAKERY...BUT IF I DID OWN IT, ALOT MORE.  
YUMMINESS WOULD HAPPEN...AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT PASTRIES.

WARNING: YAOI - DON'T LIKE DON'T READ. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

CHIKXONO, CHIK AND ONO SLIGHTLY OOC

Author's note: This is my version of what happens after Chikage and his "Young Master" save Ono from his ex-lover Jean Baptiste, who btw was about to break the fingers of Ono's right hand wich is a no-no.  
anyways, this is how I think Chikage should of reacted. Not that crying and being adorable wasn't awesome, but that he really needs to make Ono his bride, ne?  
K, k, sorry...please read on!

To Be Wanted

"This has happened to me many times before so...I'm the one who's at fault anyways..."

Ono had such a sad look on his face as he said that...like he felt that he really did deserve the beating he had received from the beastly french man that had intruded on their peaceful everyday routine. Chikage didn't always understand what exactly was going on around him but...but now he wished he had crushed Jean-  
Baptistes' slim wrist beneath his grasp only a few minutes ago, he wished he could of ground the delicate bones of the master patissier's right hand against each other until they were crushed and useless. Chikage had learned a lot of new and interesting things at Young Master's Antique Bakery shop and one of them was that the life of a pastry chef depended on his right hand. If it was broken even once it would lose at least a fraction of it deftness, and then the quality of the chefs pastries would never be the same again.

Ono was still looking down, holding the icepack to his cheek and Chikage felt,even now, a small thrill of desire run through him. Even with bruises blossoming on his face and his cut upper lip swelling, Ono looked beautiful to him. The top buttons of his shirt were undone and Chikage spied deep looking bruises there as well. Chikage saw Ono steal a glance at him beneath lowered lashes and looked away, but not before he saw the tears brooked only...by shame? How many times had Chikage already cried in front of Ono-san, how many times has he already made a fool of himself in front of the one he wanted the most? Chikage reached for him...

"I'm worthless, I know! I don't...I don't know why I let this happen again and again, but I deserve it, I just know!"

Ono's tears finally fell as he yelled those words, head still down but obviously Chikage knew they were directed at him.

"..and it feels a little good...that they care enough for me to go this far, that they feel enough about me that...that.  
sometimes I do it on purpose, I do something that will get them so angry on purpose...so I don't feel...so I don't feel..."

Chikage looked at him incredously. Ono seemed to draw into himself, his voice was tear choked,

"You're disgusted by me now though, right? Saving me was a waste of time right? Because I'm so pathetic...".

"Right,"

Ono gasped at Chikage's anwer and looked up quickly, the taller dark haired man was already standing over him, looking down with a careful expression on his face. Just as Ono felt his heart pierced with agony and despair, Chikage reached down and scooped him up, holding Ono's head against his neck and he repeated himself but finished his sentence,

"Right. As if I could ever think that Ono. To me you're...you're worth more that any treasure on this earth, more than any pain that I might suffer because of you...more than...yes, more than my servitude to my Young Master."'

Ono quickly looked at at him again, mouth slightly open and eyes still wet.

"But I'm so worthless..." he said in a miserable whisper, his voice hoarse.

"Shut up," Chikage said, grabbing Ono's face and forcing his face to his own, lips forceful and passion ardent in his embrace. Ono was still and he felt as if Chikage was devouring him...never like this, he had never been kissed like this...as if he was the one thing that kept the other man alive. He'd had many lovers but he'd been the one always meeting their needs, their desires...that was why everybody thought he was the perfect lover. Because he catered to their every desire...because he wanted to be worthwhile. He started to kiss Chikage back, but the other man suddenly pulled away. Confused Ono looked into his handsome face, so serious now, so calm. He sat Ono onto his bed and began unbuttoning the other's shirt. Ono blushed like a virgin and his breath caught as Chikages finger tips touched the bare skin on his chest as he unbutoned.

"Let me check on the rest of the bruises" Chikage asked him. Ono complied and shrugged off his shirt. Chikages expression got even graver and the muscle of his jaw twitched. By now Ono had learned to recognize even the smallest signs of anger on a stoic face.

"I'm sorry..." Onon whispered and Chikage turned flashing eyes on his.

"Why are you sorry?" Chikage demanded of him, his voice murderous, "I'm going to breack every bone in that bastards..." he began to say as he began turning away from Ono on the bed to go hunt down the french man. He stopped as he felt Ono grab hold on his sleeve.

"Please don't...don't go...I shouldn't of..."

With a growl Chikage turned back and pushed Ono onto the bed, straddling his hips and holding both of his slim wrists in one hand close to the headboard.  
Ono looked up at him afraid...but at the same time yearning, the look of someone who has done something wrong and not only accepted, but welcomed the punishment for it.

"You like this?" Ono asked thouroughly maddened and confused "...You're letting that bastard get away even though he tried to break your fingers...you won't let me protect you...Do you really like being like this?" Chikage demanded of Ono who just looked at him not knowing how to answer...

"You want to be punished?" Chikage continued, furious that someone had taken advantage of Ono's vulnerability, furious with himself for not having noticed it before, angered by the lack of reponse from the smaller man and the utter wrongness that Ono was protecting that son of a- "Fine."

Ono yelped as Chikage kissed him brutally, a whimper escaping his as Chikage tightened his hold on his wrists and bruised his lips further, but it was Chikage and he wanted Chikage more than anything...even if it was like this. Yes, it would be atonement for having cut short their relationship not so long ago. Putting his cheek agains Ono's to kiss his jawline and his neck, leg in between Ono's feeling the others hardness and pressing on it...Chikage felt wetness on his face and his vision cleared, anger and savage desire subsided as he realized Ono was crying. Chikage let go of his wrists and looked down at him, feeling like a monster.

So beautiful. Ono was so beautiful it was heartbreaking to Chikage who wanted shake the living crap out of him and make love to him until he could no longer stand and it was then he understood why the frenchman had done what he had. How painful must it have been to have had someone this beautiful by your side and lose him. How maddening that Ono was irresponsible with himself because of his lack of self worth, how utterly frustrating that he was slowly destroying himself. It made Chikage see red. They, he and Jean-Baptiste wanted to keep Ono in their hands, safe and loved, but there was nothing they could do to protect him from himself.  
Their treasure was slipping through their fingers on its own accord.

Chikage sighed and his face became gentle and a little sad. Tender...when had Ono ever seen a look like that on another mans face, directed towards him. Infatuation,  
yes, desire, anger, and possesiveness, yes...

Chikage lowered his lips to Onos eyes, leaving his lips wet with the others tears, softly kissing his bruised cheek and jaw, gently kissing his lips and parting them slowly with his tongue. Ono's breathing relaxed his anxiety subsided. As Chikage felt the others heart slow to its normal rythm, he kissed his neck and chest softly trying to make Ono forget whatever chaos frightened him and made him feel worthless inside himself. Kissing his stomach, Chikage stopped at the beltline and instead took Ono's right hand, which had dug into his hair, and kissed his the palm softly. He looked at Ono who now lay calm and with eyes half closed.

"Do you want me to stop?" Chikage asked him. It would be hard for him, but anything Ono asked of him...

"No." It was a sigh but Chikage caught it nonetheless. He began tugging down the other mans pants but Ono caught his wrist. Looking into his eyes, Ono told him with concern "I'm not...perfect..."

Chikage smiled gently at him and said "I doubt it." Ono looked the other direction as he said "Jean Baptiste...he..."

Chikages stomach gave a little lurch at what Ono was implying, anger threatened to raise its ugly head again...but what was done was done and he filed beating the shit out of Jean Baptiste in his mind for later because for now he was going to make Ono forget all those bad things...and he was going to show him the way things are were suppose to be between two lovers. Not a man and his property. Love could straddle the line between those two emotions so carefully...

Pleasing Ono with his mouth and tongue became Chikages first priority and his thoughts drifted away into nothing, hearing the little pants his lover made, trying to stay quite, making Chikage more painfully aware of his own need than before. Tasting the saltiness of Onos desire Chikage paused and moved upwards to kiss him, gently once more and to ask where-

"Drawer." Ono said breathily, jerking his head towards the nighstand beside his bed. It wasn't that far off reach and Chikage stuck the small bottle into his pocket momentarily and took off his shirt. Ono's lips were slightly parted and Chikage leaned forward to kiss him once again before turning him onto his stomach. Kissing the back of Ono's neck, his shoulders and his shoulder blades, he continued down his spine and then further to where Ono was no longer making pleased little noises, but moans of desparation agains the torturous pleasure that he felt as Chikages tongue gently prepared him.

"Chikage..." He moaned...

Still with a gentle smile on his face Chikage slowly turned his lover onto his back again and tugged down his own pants, taking the small bottle out of the pocket first and finally applying its contents, trying not to touch himself to much and cut their joined pleasure short, and applying it to his fingers that touched and gently circled Ono's tight ring of muscles until he relaxed, slowly pushing in with the pad of his finger as he kissed Ono and he had most of his attention on their kiss. Still, Ono's breath hitched as he added another finger and then another stretching him out first and then carefully searching for-

There was a muffled moan from Ono and Chikage knew he had found it. Chikage kissed Ono's neck slowly and he he entered him carefully trying not to get carried away by the urgency his body felt. Ono whimpered and Chikage quickly kissed his lips and to not draw it out any longer, buried himself up to the hilt when he thought he had a sufficient amount of Ono's attention. His lover cried out against his kiss and Chikage swallowed the noise. No longer kissing him but looking into his eyes instead, Chikage quietly said "Sh" to Ono as he slowly began moving his hips. He paused only to pull his lover forward so that he sat riding him, facing him, Onos legs wrapped around his waist, Chikage once again moving his hips, slowly moving Ono up and down. Their breath came short, and Ono's gasps turned to moans as Chikage found his spot yet again. Noticing the change, Chikage began thrusting harder, Ono crying out his name and he hid his face on Chikages neck and moaned,

"Please."

Chikage increased his pace the smaller man gasping and desperately holding Chikage to him until Ono cried out and came, his seed spilling on Chikages chest. Ono not caring hugged Chikage to him shivering and trying to breather while Chikage had felt his lovers muscles tighten and that had been the end of his self control. He held Onno to him and began to pull out slowly,  
but Onno held him tighter and asked him quietly,

"Wait..."

Chikage kissed him slowly and pulled out as gently as he could.

"I'm not leaving" he told Onno and pulled them back to laying on the bed, hugging he smaller man closer to him. Kissing his forehead, Chikage looked into Onno's eyes once again, asking a question. "I'm not...I dont want to be disposable." Onno said trembling.

"I know." Chikage responded gently.

"But sometimes I feel like I am...there's nothing special about me...I can be thrown away and replaced...I'm someone people lose interest in quickly." Onno tried wrapping his legs around Chikage again, hiding his face agains his chest and muffling his voice, "I can stand anything...anything but being thrown away. Break me but please don't leave."

"Until death then," Chikage calmly answered, "I understand. It's...it's painful being alone and not being truly wanted. But I will protect my treasure from that."

"Treasure?"

"I told you you were everything to me-" Chikage answered Onno, "what i hold dearest is just...you and your constant presence, please always be by my side."

"Forever then?"

Chikage agreed, once again on top of Onno and moving down to kiss the inside of his thighs to start their lovemaking again and give Onno further proof he was still very much wanted by him, and that he wouldn't be done proving it for a long time.

"Forever", Chikage answered truthfully.


End file.
